For years now, I've worked with hundreds of people who are all in search of something that has eluded them for some time now, and they've come to me for help. I think deep down, they're also searching for a new way to try something. "There's more than one way to skin a cat", as the saying goes. Most people are looking for the easiest way to do it, or better yet, try and find themselves a pre-skinned cat. Of everyone I work with, a certain percentage of those people, go on to achieve their goals.
Why? Because they want it, their goals are aligned with their values and what they're willing to give up. They are clear on what they want. What it will take to get there. And what emotional reward they will receive when they achieve it. These people were always going to succeed. They take very little convincing on the things I tell them to do (yes, others put up quite a fight, if they ever choose to listen and act), and they are rewarded handsomely.
So why will some people not achieve any of their goals?
It's pretty simple really, they never wanted it. They only thought they wanted it because society demands it of them. They've seen a picture of a skinny girl on Instagram, or a guy has seen videos of some aesthetic brah boys and they WANT IN! What you never see from these people is the hard work, dedication to their end goal, what they're giving up, the sacrifices on a daily basis, the friendships they will likely lose along the way, and everything else in between that seems insignificant to those who are looking from the outside in. All an outsider wants is the end point. They're not looking to endure the pain along the way. It's the same for every part of life. Relationships, business, and your body. I mean, I've heard people complain about how long the flight to Bali is! Come one man! So drive to Frankston! I'm getting on the plane, so keep that negativity to my second home to yourself!
If you want something, and it means everything to you, you'l do whatever it takes to get it. You will find a way, not an excuse. You'll give up the things you really like/want because they aren't helping you achieve your goal. You'll remove negativity that hold you back. You'll give up doing the same shit that got you here. If you truly want to make a change, you'll find a new way.
So Liam, how can you help me?
Good question! Let's go back a step first. Do you want me to actually help you? Or hold your hand while you stuff up again because you choose not to make any changes? Sorry, just want to be clear on it all.
If I could help you achieve your goal, GUARANTEED, would you truly listen? What if I told you to stop drinking alcohol? Stop eating take away food? Stop drinking 3 lattes a day? Would you keep listening?
I can help you, if you want the help. I say to all my clients, I'll give you all the help you ask for. I'll do whatever you want me to do, just ask. Keep asking questions.
Ok, now that we've got that part of the way, now we can ask ourselves what it is we want.
So, to get clear on your goals, ask yourself these 5 questions;
What do I want out of this?
Why is this important to me?
Is the outcome part of my core values?
Am I willing to give things up to achieve it?
If I achieve it, will I be happier/healthier?
Now that you've answered these, you can begin to see that it doesn't stop at just knowing your goals. You need to understand WHY you want to achieve it. Your answer can't be, because I want to be hot and look SEXY AF on the beach! Well, it sort of can be, but physical motivation only lasts so long. Emotional triggers help you sustain it.
How does it make you feel when you think about having your end goal?
So when you are a size 8/12/12, whatever, how do you feel emotionally? Are you happier? How does it make you feel? Does it boost your confidence? Self esteem? Are you not yourself because of where you are currently? See where I'm going with this?
We all feed of emotional positivity. When we receive that, we feel better regardless of our physical changes. This is what makes us happier. So by empowering yourself by getting stronger, changing your body shape, as much as they are physical changes, it's the emotional change that makes you feel better. Sure, the physical change helps, but the emotional stuff is far more powerful. You have to live in your own head 24/7, you'll look at your body once a day in the morning... so stop dwelling on that too much. Get your head right, your body will follow!
NOW! Go and ask and answer those question to yourself. Right them down. Break them down even further and keep reassessing week by week if the things you're doing are the right things to do given what your goals are.