One of the hardest parts of my job is helping people move on from something that happened in the past.
I get it. It happened, but by dwelling on it, and using it as justification why something new CAN'T and WON'T happen because of it, is a waste of your time and energy. Some people go through some horrible moments in their life, all on a varying scale.
In my opinion, just because of that time/year/event, doesn't mean you can't better yourself by moving on and creating something magical for yourself. If you are chasing a physical goal, financial goal, or mental goal, all that matters is that you focus on the now, and the future. These are the only 2 things you have control over. You can't go back 5 years and choose not to have that relationship, or avoid making that choice that snowballed into a lot more bad choices. They've happened, and it's time to move on.
As soon as you accept this, your own quality of life will drastically increase and you will find your stress, anxiety, and attachments to things will be much healthier and far better off. Start the plan of moving forward and begin creating a better life for yourself. Life doesn't stop just because of one bad breakup, or because you ate an extra slice of cake at that wedding you went to 3 years ago.
Stop trying to make up for what has happened in the past and commit to making better decisions as of RIGHT NOW! These are the only decisions that will take you from A, where you are right now, to B, where you wish you were.
If you're chasing a physical goal, whether it be weight loss, strength gain, body fat % goal, you can only change what is directly in front of you. Those being;
1. Your food choices.
2. Going to training vs not going to training.
3. Educating yourself or seeking the help of a professional in that area, so you know more and have the ability to create positive change.
4. Staying focused on what's most important to you.
These 4 easy to follow guidelines will ensure you succeed provided you execute them to the best of your ability.
So stop making excuses as to why it can't happen to you and simply change something that you're doing. If you want to be more like someone in a physical sense, start doing more of what they do on a daily basis.
Do they eat breakfast and you don't?
Do they train 5 times a week with a high intensity and constantly push themselves?
Do they always make healthy food choices?
Do they have a good positive relationship with, and never talk negatively about, themselves?
All of these key factors, someone else may be doing, while you're not. They also mostly relate to a physical goal. But these can transfer to mental or financial and you can easily achieve some great results by replicating what others are doing to achieve the results that you wished you had.
Find what's working for them, and what you can implement and focus 100% on making those positive changes that can fit into your lifestyle.